Choosing your baby's name together, beyond the usual names

The names you can think of fit in one hand: your grandfather's, a friend's, one from a series. Twenty, maybe thirty. It's a short list and it's always the same one, because it's made only of what you've already heard. Choosing there means choosing between a handful of names you already know by heart.

The real list has thousands. Most of them are names that never crossed your mind, and one of them could well be your Little Bean's. Baby Bee serves you that whole list, one card at a time, from the most used to the rarest.

Names you didn't know existed

The good part happens in the middle. At the start the usual names go by and you deal with them fast, because you already have an opinion on every one. Then the others start to appear: names you've never heard, that you didn't know were names, that nobody in the family would ever suggest. That's when the choice stops being a negotiation between two lists and becomes a discovery.

Why swipe instead of saying them out loud

You say «what about Vicente?» and you sit there watching your partner's face. A wrinkled nose is enough to burn the name and leave someone hurt. With a name they've never heard, it's worse still: the first reaction to a new name is nearly always strangeness, and strangeness wears off. But if it happens out loud, the name dies right there and never had a chance.

So each of you votes alone, on your own phone, without seeing the other's votes. Right is Yes, left is No, down is Maybe. Maybe exists because not everything is a yes or a no: some names need time.

A full match is when you both say Yes to the same name. And it feels good: nobody gave in, nobody talked anybody round, you both liked it without knowing.

The near-agreements make the best conversations

A Yes on one side and a Maybe on the other isn't a fail, it's a hint. On Baby Bee, those near-agreements show up in the «Shared» tab, in a softer tone, with each person's vote next to the name. That's where it's worth talking, now that nobody's on the defensive.

And you can change your mind: in «Mine» you review your votes whenever you like. The name that was a No in January can be a Maybe in April, your Little Bean is still a while away.

To get started

• Agree not to say names out loud for a week. Votes only.
• Vote each at your own pace. The names come from the national list of your baby's country, from the most used to the rarest.
• Don't stop at the first ones. The names you don't know only show up once you've dealt with the obvious ones.
• Celebrate the matches, talk about the near ones, change your mind as much as you like.

And if the grandparents or the godmother want a say, they can join the same baby and vote too. With the same rules: each on their own, without seeing the others' votes.